Thinking about the way decisions sometimes just click into place, behind all the conscious deciding and planning. I could do this, I want to do this, I want this to happen ... but actually, I'm going to be doing this. Because when I stop wanting it to be one way, it's there in my mind already, the other way.
The dust is already settling around it, as though it has been there some time without my noticing.
"How was it last night?"
"What, you mean the Thursday group? Oh, it was really interesting."
"And?"
"Sorry. Hold on ... Yes, it was really interesting. A lot of 'should' and what the rules are, but a lot of really interesting comments."
"Actually, just a splash more milk? That's it, thanks. Comments on something of yours?"
"I didn't take anything. Would have, if I'd thought. No, we did most of the time on how to comment - the word was 'critique' - without hurting each other's feelings - "
"This woman doesn't do housecalls?"
"Ha ha. Comment on each other's work. Then there was this screenwriter, a woman just moved to Cornwall, who had written a really good opening chapter."
"A woman?"
"A really good piece of work, and the point is, the comments were really worthwhile - just participating, I mean. I've never done anything like that before."
"Are you taking something next time?"
"Oh, I think so. But the point is, I've changed my mind about what. I think it's just what I need for - "
"I'd love to come with you."
"Come with me? That would be lovely, darling, that would be really lovely, but you see, you have to sign up in advance, you have to pay, and it's a group of seven ... "
And now we cut to commercial as I really have to go into town.
No resemblance intended, et cetera, et cetera.
What decision, what change of mind?
And what about that car you mentioned yesterday?
Tune in tomorrow, same time, same channel, et cetera.
Roll the credits.
The dust is already settling around it, as though it has been there some time without my noticing.
"How was it last night?"
"What, you mean the Thursday group? Oh, it was really interesting."
"And?"
"Sorry. Hold on ... Yes, it was really interesting. A lot of 'should' and what the rules are, but a lot of really interesting comments."
"Actually, just a splash more milk? That's it, thanks. Comments on something of yours?"
"I didn't take anything. Would have, if I'd thought. No, we did most of the time on how to comment - the word was 'critique' - without hurting each other's feelings - "
"This woman doesn't do housecalls?"
"Ha ha. Comment on each other's work. Then there was this screenwriter, a woman just moved to Cornwall, who had written a really good opening chapter."
"A woman?"
"A really good piece of work, and the point is, the comments were really worthwhile - just participating, I mean. I've never done anything like that before."
"Are you taking something next time?"
"Oh, I think so. But the point is, I've changed my mind about what. I think it's just what I need for - "
"I'd love to come with you."
"Come with me? That would be lovely, darling, that would be really lovely, but you see, you have to sign up in advance, you have to pay, and it's a group of seven ... "
And now we cut to commercial as I really have to go into town.
No resemblance intended, et cetera, et cetera.
What decision, what change of mind?
And what about that car you mentioned yesterday?
Tune in tomorrow, same time, same channel, et cetera.
Roll the credits.