So he spoke to his friend Patricia Finney, and on her advice, went to Weebly. There, he was pleased to discover, the 'themes' included one with not only a paper (cardboard? parchment?) background, but also an ambiguous stain that could - at a stretch - be considered a coffee stain. And not only that but also - how strange to find such a thing on an electronic page - an ink stain.
So he thought - yes. I'm going to do this. I'm going to - no, hang on. If I spell it all out here, all at once, I'll have nothing to say in the morning.
I'm going to stop now, and start again in the morning.