I have teenage children. When they're home, sooner or later one of them will come to me and say: "Dad! We're going to make a mess in the kitchen."
"Great!" I will reply, picking up on the tone of voice. "What are you going to do?"
"We thought we'd slice up some peppers and onion and bits of chicken and leave them glued to the bottom of the frying pan. Burn something in one of the saucepans and leave it floating in the sink."
"Anything else?"
"Make some sugary gluey stuff and use it to fix a few spatulas to the worktop. Leave all the chicken we didn't use by the window, on a plate smeared with tomato ketchup. Empty out the sugar and leave the container and its lid at opposite ends of the kitchen."
"No crockery in the living room?"
"Duh. Glasses of course. We've got some really gloppy drink residue to stick them down."
"Okay, so-"
"Oh wait! We thought we'd put three empty Lucozade bottles and an empty Hula Hoops packet in the food-recycling bin."
"That's a new one. You will finish up the milk, won't you, so I don't have to put it on my breakfast cereal?"
"Dad, about that breakfast cereal..."
"You've saved me the trouble already? Are you going to do any cooking before you start?"
"We're going to make popcorn and chicken fajita wraps and then we're going to watch a movie."
"Sounds like you guys are going to have fun. Be sure and leave all the mess so I can find it in the morning."
"We will, Dad."
"Leave all the lights on, TV plugged in..."
"Good night, Dad. We'll turn the sound up so you can hear the movie while you're trying to get to sleep."
"Thanks guys."
"Great!" I will reply, picking up on the tone of voice. "What are you going to do?"
"We thought we'd slice up some peppers and onion and bits of chicken and leave them glued to the bottom of the frying pan. Burn something in one of the saucepans and leave it floating in the sink."
"Anything else?"
"Make some sugary gluey stuff and use it to fix a few spatulas to the worktop. Leave all the chicken we didn't use by the window, on a plate smeared with tomato ketchup. Empty out the sugar and leave the container and its lid at opposite ends of the kitchen."
"No crockery in the living room?"
"Duh. Glasses of course. We've got some really gloppy drink residue to stick them down."
"Okay, so-"
"Oh wait! We thought we'd put three empty Lucozade bottles and an empty Hula Hoops packet in the food-recycling bin."
"That's a new one. You will finish up the milk, won't you, so I don't have to put it on my breakfast cereal?"
"Dad, about that breakfast cereal..."
"You've saved me the trouble already? Are you going to do any cooking before you start?"
"We're going to make popcorn and chicken fajita wraps and then we're going to watch a movie."
"Sounds like you guys are going to have fun. Be sure and leave all the mess so I can find it in the morning."
"We will, Dad."
"Leave all the lights on, TV plugged in..."
"Good night, Dad. We'll turn the sound up so you can hear the movie while you're trying to get to sleep."
"Thanks guys."